


And The Cartomantic Caper

by silveradept



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014), Warehouse 13
Genre: A Healthy Dose of References, Cartomancy, Crossover-ish?, Fortune Telling, Gen, More Like A Shared Universe, Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot Deck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:40:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21556390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silveradept/pseuds/silveradept
Summary: The Librarians head to a lecture, hoping to collect the original Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot deck, which has gained the power to predict the future. Had they been able to do so, they might have noticed the other team also here to collect the artifact.
Relationships: Cassandra Cillian & Ezekiel Jones & Jacob "Jake" Stone
Comments: 12
Kudos: 28
Collections: Fortune Favors: Round One— Rider-Waite-Smith





	And The Cartomantic Caper

"I don't believe in that," Ezekiel said.

Cassandra and Jake's heads snapped to stare at him.

"You've been recovering artifacts for exactly how long now, you've been exposed to magic, there's a strong probability that our caretaker and one of our biggest villains are Knights of the Round Table, and you're going to tell me that you don't believe that a deck of Tarot cards that accurately predicts the future exists?" Jake growled.

"Yeah, mate," Ezekiel said, grinning. "Because if it did exist, Carmen Sandiego would have stolen it a long time ago."

"That's ridiculous," Cassandra said. "Carmen Sandiego is--"

"One of the most infamous thieves of our time," Jenkins said, appearing at the top of the stairs. "Her fedora, which was thought to make the wearer undetectable by most security systems, was eventually obtained by a branch of the government and sent to a warehouse for safekeeping."

"And...ACME?" Cassandra ventured.

"Complete fabrication," Jenkins said dismissively. "They lack the bureaucracy a government agency with that kind of resources would generate, especially one that has an international jurisdiction. Furthermore, the 'Crime Computer' was very clearly an extrapolation on what leading minds of the time thought a general-purpose artificial intelligence would be used for."

"Never figured you for a gamer," Ezekiel said. Jenkins gave him a withering look in reply.

"Why this particular deck?" Jake asked, trying to get the discussion back on track.

"The Rider-Waite-Smith deck has been an archetype for scryers, fortune-tellers, psychics, and more than enough frauds claiming to be any or all of those things," Jenkins replied. "While their cards and their meanings have been duplicated, shifted, and completely redrawn for any number of decks that you can find online or in any metaphysical store, it is still true that the Rider-Waite-Smith designs are the most commonly known and referenced set of cards." 

"So how did a set of playing cards become such a popular way of telling the future?" Ezekiel asked.

"Cartomancy is an old practice," Jenkins said, shrugging. "While the Rider-Waite-Smith deck is only a little older than a century, divination practices using sacred objects is far, far older. For the most part, attempts to divine the future or ask the opinion of gods were performed by trained clergy, but in these days, it seems like anyone can pick up an oracle, even on their technological devices, and attempt to beseech powers beyond this earth or to attempt to untangle the future."

"So, I'm guessing those late-night 900 numbers are more likely to be frauds." Jake said.

"True extrasensory perception is a vanishingly rare occurrence," Jenkins said, holding up a hand to forestall Cassandra, "but there are ways that spells or artifacts can simulate or grant those abilities."

"The clipping book said these cards are currently part of a traveling exhibit of scrying tools," Jake said. "We could arrange a meeting with the curator and swap these cards for some less potent ones."

"Or we could go while the cards are being demonstrated and do the swap then," Ezekiel said, looking at his phone.

"WHAT?" Jenkins thundered. "I'm sorry, is there _no one_ these days with the slightest shred of psychic sensitivity who would intrinsically understand the danger those cards represent?"

Cassandra was halfway to raising her hand before realizing Jenkins didn't want an answer. "It sounds like the best time to get it would be before the actual display, so let's plan for that," she said instead.

"Artifacts?" Ezekiel said hopefully.

"No, just you and your thievery skills, Mr. Jones," Jenkins said. "Bringing artifacts in close contact with each other can cause unintended effects. Given that this particular artifact may be able to affect the future, it would be prudent not to give it any opportunities to create catastrophic effects."

Ezekiel rolled his eyes and looked back at his phone.

"Are you sure that we want Ezekiel to have those? He already basically said that any thief with them would be able to do a lot of terrible things," Jake said, eyeing Ezekiel.

"I already told you, they're not the real thing, because if they were, they would have long since been stolen by now."

"What if they're like the Monkey's Paw, where the future they predict comes to pass, but in the absolute worst possible way? Wouldn't someone want to get rid of the cards as fast as they could?" Cassandra ventured.

"And knowing how people are, _someone_ would get them and then not believe in their powers and willingly inflict them on others," Jake added, staring at Ezekiel.

"Still don't believe they can tell the future," Ezekiel insisted. "Jenkins, is the back door ready to take us to the show?"

"Of course," Jenkins said, giving Ezekiel the smile he put on when he wanted everyone to know that he was dealing with children who still doubted his abilities as a caretaker.

"Right, then!" Ezekiel said. "Let's go!"

* * *

The back door deposited them just outside the lecture hall where the demonstration was scheduled to begin.

"Hello!" the usher, who gave the impression of being a graduate student, said, as they approached. "There's still seating in the hall, so find a good place to look. Ooh, and take these!" She handed each of them a ticket. "Someone in the audience is going to get their future read by the original Rider-Waite-Smith deck! It'll be extremely exciting!"

"What makes it so special?" Cassandra asked, trying to sound like she knew nothing, instead of everything.

"The Rider-Waite-Smith deck is the first Tarot deck that we know is specifically used for cartomantic purposes," the usher said. "Whether you believe it can predict the future is up to you, of course, but…"

"But if you advertised it like it could, you'd get a lot more people willing to sit through a lecture to get to the demonstration," Ezekiel concluded. "That's brilliant." 

"Thanks!" The usher beamed at Ezekiel. "We thought it would work really well that way. Plus, the attendance numbers will really help us get more funding from the university."

"Oh, speaking of, we're The Librarians," Ezekiel said casually. "Is there any chance we could see the cards before they go on stage?"

"Oh, I'd love to," the usher said, "but they're already set up, and there isn't enough time to let you have a good look at them, but who knows? Maybe one of you will be the lucky person who gets to go on stage."

Ezekiel smiled charmingly. "Can't win them all, I guess. Thanks for your help!"

Ezekiel managed to find them three unoccupied seats near the front, and they all settled in (Jake with a scowl, Cassandra with a beaming smile, Ezekiel with popcorn that neither Jake nor Cassandra could figure out where he'd gotten it from) to listen to the lecture.

Jake's scowl stayed during the lecture, occasionally increasing. Soon, he started providing a running commentary to Ezekiel about how it was obvious to anyone that the claims of ancient origins were overblown and the supporting art used pigments that definitely weren't available in those periods.

Cassandra seemed to listen intently to the lecture, and tried to explain to Ezekiel how much the lecturers got right and wrong regarding magic and psychic abilities as it actually worked, compared to how most people thought it worked.

Ezekiel munched popcorn and tried his best to tune both of them out without letting them know he was doing so. He took in the details of the hall, the position of the objects, and the likeliest ways that someone would try to get in or out if they were trying to steal something. At some point, Ezekiel realized he'd lost the habit of casing everywhere he went and catalouging it according to what would be easiest to steal.

"And now," the usher they'd seen at the beginning said at the microphone, "it's time to draw and see which lucky person will have a reading done." 

She read off Ezekiel's ticket number. Cassandra clapped in delight. Jake gave Ezekiel the look that said he suspected Ezekiel had somehow arranged this for himself beforehand, while nobody was looking. Ezekiel smiled and shrugged, leaving Jake to whatever interpretation he wanted to believe, and headed up to the stage.

"What's your name?" the usher said.

"Ivan," Ezekiel said.

"And you're a librarian, right? That's what you said earlier?"

"That's right," Ezekiel replied, smiling nervously like he wasn't sure he wanted to be on the stage. Neither Jake nor Cassandra were fooled, but each of them wanted to see what would happen to prove themselves right about the whole affair, so they said nothing. 

"Doctor Wahrsager will draw three cards from the deck, one to indicate your past, one to indicate your present, and then one to indicate your future." The grad student smiled at him, and ushered him over to the doctor.

"Normally, for a cartomancy session," Doctor Wahrsager began, "we would ask Ivan to shuffle and cut the cards, thinking of the question that he wants advice on, but these card are sufficiently old that they need special handling, so we're going to skip the shuffling and cutting. Do you have a question in mind, Ivan?"

Ezekiel nodded.

"Good. In a traditional scrying session, querants would bring an offering to the power that they wished to consult, and there would be a certain amount of preparation and ceremony for the oracle and the querant to make sure they were free of malignant influences and to help get the querant in the right frame of mind to accept the oracle's conclusions. Most famously, the Pythia of Apollo was purported to have breathed a gas that was mildly hallucinogenic, but there is a strong theory that suggests that one of the ritual components, oleander, was toxic and induced seizures, which were seen as the god inhabiting the oracle." Dr. Wahrsager motioned for Ezekiel to sit across from him. "In more modern practice, there's a psychological component to divination. A lot of people have gotten good at using tools that allow them to speak of generalities and let their querants fill in the generalities with specifics from their own lives. The Rider-Waite-Smith deck is no exception to this. A person with enough skill and who can elicit more information out of their querant can tailor the message in such a way that it appears that the cards are telling the future." 

Ezekiel nodded. "Really kinda glad you're laying this all out at the beginning, Doc." 

"Not quite what you expected, is it?" Dr. Wahrsager grinned back at him, before resuming the explanation. "There's a second use for scrying tools: rather than trying to predict external events, scrying tools are often put to use trying to divine the inner life of the querant, to get past their own consciousness and skepticism and tap directly into their intuition. Sometimes, it's to have something else justify the course of action they've already decided on, but for many people, they're trying to get at what their subconscious mind is noticing and trying to relay to them. All of this is to say that if things sound familiar while we're doing the reading and the explanation, that's the intended effect. Are you ready to begin, Ivan?"

Ezekiel brightened. "Sure. Tell me my future, Doc. And skip the DeLorean, if you can." 

Dr. Wahrsager laughed. "You've got the right attitude, Ivan. Let's see what the cards have in store for you, shall we?"

Dr. Wahrsager turned over the first card and waited for the document camera to focus on it, so the audience could follow along.

"The King of Wands," Dr. Wahrsager said. "For those of you who cannot see it on the screen, or are only listening to this lecture, the King of Wands is wearing a cloak and sitting on a throne decorated with lions and salamanders. Wands are traditionally the representation of the element of fire, and salamanders were thought to be able to traverse fire without being affected by it. The wand, in this case, might be a bit of a misnomer, as it would more likely be called a staff. It is taller than the seated King, despite the staff resting at a lower point than the King himself. Traditionally, the presence of the King of Wands suggests someone who knows what they are doing in life and will act swiftly to get it. Sometimes this decisiveness works in their favor, and other times it gets them in trouble because they don't take the time to consider all of their options before charging in. Do you like video games, Ivan?"

Ezekiel nodded. "Yeah." 

Dr. Wahrsager nodded back. "First-person shooters, am I right?"

Ezekiel laughed. "You've got me there."

"That makes sense. After a certain point in their design, shooters tend toward two questions: Can I react faster than my opponent, and how much more dakka do I need to make sure my projectiles stick? Games that require more thought than that tend to be spun off into other genres - cover shooters, tactical shooters, and the like. Pure shooters, however, tend to retain this idea that all you need is more bullets and a faster reaction time to succeed. You likely have several incidents in your past that you could recall where you made decisions based on the moment. Probably several of them where you even thought you had planned for most of the eventualities, only for an unexpected option to manifest and require improvisation." 

Dr. Wahrsager turned over the second card and readjusted the camera.

"The four of cups. The card itself is a person sitting cross-legged and cross-armed underneath a tree, with three vessels in front of them. A hand stretching from a small cloud is offering a fourth vessel to the person underneath the tree, but the person underneath the tree has not noticed the gift on offer. Thankfully, since the card is in the reversed position, I can instead compliment you as a person who is likely to notice the big picture and make connections that people with narrower focuses might miss. Combined with the past card, at this point, I might start making overtures that appeal to your ego, suggesting you tend toward visionary ideas and bold decisions. If you were more formally dressed and receiving this reading, I might ask if you were a manager of people and see if I couldn't get you to tell me about your ideas for a bit. The establishment of a good rapport would make you more likely to believe what I was saying next and whether it applied to you.

"The way that this card has been turned is the 'reversed' position, instead of the 'upright' one. Some cartomancers use the reversed position as a way of indicating a diminished or opposed meaning to the upright position, others do not. Traditionally, the upright position's meaning suggests that the person sitting underneath the tree is far too absorbed in what is in front of them to notice that there is more to their situation and to accept what is being offered to them. As a card of the present, it would ordinarily suggest taking a step back and looking at the wider picture before continuing on the present path, just in case there is an unnoticed alternative that would result in a better decision. In the reversed position, however, it suggests that the person is coming out of a period where they were focused too narrowly. This is a much safer position to take if you want repeat business, certainly, because a lot of people will get defensive if you tell them they're thinking too small and immediate. A person experiencing homelessness, or someone in the middle of something that is taking all of their spare cognitive capacity is not in the mood to be told they're not looking at the big picture. For many of them, they're thinking as big as they safely can."

Dr. Wahrsager looked at Ezekiel. "Together, Ivan, these cards suggest that you've spent a lot of your life thinking about short-term goals, and where the next meal is going to come from, and it's only now that you've managed to put yourself in a stable enough position to begin devoting thoughts to the longer-term. Perhaps you've received a promotion, or changed jobs recently. Whatever it is, the stability that comes with this new situation is welcome, even if you're not fully certain that you have the ability to plan for any longer than you're used to. Cups represent the element of water, and water's traditional associations are the heart and the emotions, so this present is one that's full of feelings and related to your heart, even if you're not sure that opening your heart or showing your emotions is a good idea."

Ezekiel blinked a few times, looking back at Casandra and Jake. Cassandra had a wide grin and gave him a thumbs-up, while Jake had his arms crossed over his chest, looking extremely smug at hearing how close to reality Dr. Wahrsager was.

Dr. Wahrsager turned over the final card. "The six of pentacles! Good things for you, then, Ivan, in your future. I realize that's a thing that most people who are attempting to divine the future say, because they like repeat business, but in this case, the six of pentacles suggests solid foundations for you to build a good future upon. Pentacles, or coins, are the representation of the element of earth, which is the thing everyone needs to build their houses on. The card itself is a person dressed as a noble or merchant in between two people dressed as peasants. The noble is standing, the peasants are kneeling in supplication. In the left hand of the noble is a balanced scale. The noble's right hand is in the act of distributing coins to one of the supplicants, who is clearly grateful for the largesse. It appears that there's been more than just stability granted to you, Ivan, but a significant increase in your ability to provide for yourself, and for others."

"Maybe?' Ezekiel ventured, feeling much more confused than when he'd started.

"The act of almsgiving is not uncommon in many religious practices," Dr. Wahrsager continued. "Whether described as the collection plate, a tithe, noblesse oblige, or even rectification, human society has a tendency to accord virtue to the idea of those with more assisting those who have less, whether out of generosity or obligation. This card in your future position suggests that once you have enough that you feel stable and secure, Ivan, you will turn your pursuits to helping others achieve the same. That usually starts with family members, but it can quickly and easily spread farther. If these cards are right, Ivan, you're going to become a force for good in the world."

Dr. Wahrsager sat back, satisfied, as the applause rang out from the audience.

"Can I take a closer look at the cards?" Ezekiel said, getting close to be heard over the crowd. A little bit of misdirection and he would have what they came for, and then he could go back to the Annex and annoy Jenkins until the feelings he had not been trying to feel during the reading passed.

"They're...that's not right," Dr. Wahrsager said, gesturing to the deck on the table. "These were supposed to be the original designs. These cards are the reissued version. The backs are different between them." He motioned to the graduate student to come over. "Helena, go and check the space. See if the original cards are still in their secure location." Helena nodded and darted off. 

"How did I not notice?" Dr. Wahrsager said, sitting back.

Ezekiel shot a look at Cassandra, who shrugged and shook her head. Jake, on the other hand, had turned to watch Helena dart away.

"I don't like this," Jake said, when Ezekiel had rejoined them off the stage. "Cassandra said that the magic that was surrounding the cards just vanished after the reading was done."

"Can you get a read on it now?" Ezekiel asked.

"Nope," Cassandra said. "It's like someone stuffed it in a complete no-magic zone."

"Follow me," Ezekiel said, and ran out in the direction he had seen Helena go, not waiting for Jake and Cassandra to keep up with him. Rounding a corner, he saw Helena and an old man walking away at a brisk pace.

"Hey!" he called. Helena turned and fired a bolt of lightning into Ezekiel's chest. Just before he passed out, Ezekiel heard the old guy say "You can't just Tesla people like that!"

When he woke up, Ezekiel saw Cassandra and Jake hovering over him.

"Where did they go?" he asked.

"Who?" Jake counter-asked.

"The grad student and the old guy. They were right there, and then she...zapped me with a lightning-throwing stun gun, and then I saw you two."

"There's nobody here now," Jake said, offering Ezekiel an arm to pull him up with.

"I refuse to believe there's someone better than me at stealing things," Ezekiel said, popping back to his feet on his own. "They must have used magic or something. I told you we should have brought some artifacts with us."

"There they are!" Dr. Wahrsager shouted as he rounded the corner with a couple of security guards. "That's the man who came up to be read. He came in with those two. They must have all been working together to steal the deck."

Ezekiel rolled his eyes. "Like I'd work with amateurs like those," he said to Jake and Cassandra. They both stared at him. "What? Just saying."

"Come with us," one of the security guards said, advancing on the trio. "We'd like to ask you some questions."

"Excuse you," Cassandra said, adopting her best "I want to speak to your manager" tone. "We're the Librarians."

The security guards stopped. "Why didn't you say so?" the first guard said. "C'mon, Lou, we've got to find those thieves. I am not looking forward to the paperwork that's going to come from this." Both guards and Dr. Wahrsager left.

"That's the first time that's worked," Jake said. "What did you do, Cassandra?"

"Well, it's really rather simple," Cassandra said. "Once the Librarian admitted that he'd used magic to produce the intended effect, it didn't take me long to isolate what kind of spell it was, how it was triggered, and…"

Ezekiel stepped away from the explanation and dialed Jenkins on his cell phone.

"I assume that things did not go well, then, Mr. Jones," Jenkins said as he picked up.

"Yeah. Someone else stole the cards, tasered me, and, for good measure, I got cold-read to a creepily accurate degree by a university professor. I'd say that's a pretty bad day."

"Then you'll be wanting to return to the Annex. Just as soon as I can find a suitable door…yes, excellent. The door at the end of the hallway will do nicely," Jenkins said.

Ezekiel whistled, interrupting Cassandra's explanation. He jerked his head toward the doors Jenkins had indicated, and started walking toward them.

"Hey, Jenkins. Where did you say that Carmen's fedora had gone to?"

"First, Mr. Jones, please _warn_ people when you are about to make loud noises over the phone. Second, the trail regarding Ms. Sandiego's fedora grows cold soon after it is transferred to an Internal Revenue Service warehouse in Univille, South Dakota, which, by the way, is a place that does not generally show up on any maps. For all we know, it lives there still."

"What would the IRS want with something that could make the wearer invisible? Or, for that matter, with Tarot cards that can predict the future?" Ezekiel said, opening the door to the Annex and walking through.

Jenkins hung up the phone at his arrival, denying Ezekiel the opportunity to make Jenkins listen to his phone echo. Ezekiel frowned at being denied one of the simple pleasures of his life.

"Not invisible, Mr. Jones. Undetectable. The difference is important. The invisible person is not seen, but leaves traces of themselves everywhere. The undetectable person is seen, but cannot be traced." 

"Same thing," Ezekiel said.

"Uh, not to interrupt your conversation, but the clipping book just updated itself," Jake interrupted. "Dr. Wahrsager…just died. That can't be right."

Cassandra skimmed the new article. "Apparently, despite being only fifty years old, the coroner thought he was examining someone older than 100," she said. "This is one of those 'magic always comes with a price' things, isn't it?"

"Some artifacts are safer to use than others," Jenkins said. "The more power an artifact has, the more carefully it must be handled, lest it cause destruction. If I were you, I would turn my attention to some other artifact that is in need of retrieval."

Ezekiel scowled as the conversation turned to other topics. Jenkins might be right, but it still rankled that someone had stolen what he had intended to steal before he had a chance to steal it himself. The next time he could get his hands on Santa's sleigh, he was going to spend the holidays in Univille.

**Author's Note:**

> Ezekiel's cards are the ones drawn for the assignment for this work - the King of Wands, the Four of Cups, Reversed, and the Six of Pentacles.
> 
> ETA: And now there's podfic! If you'd like to hear this story, check out the related works section. Thanks, [kisahawklin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin)!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] And the Cartomancy Caper](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28918656) by [kisahawklin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin)




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